I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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