ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
