this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
