Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
