she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize