Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
