And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
