Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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