I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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