his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize