i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
