You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
