I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
