At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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