I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
