The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
