I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
