Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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