Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
