she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
farters have to be the big spoon...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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