people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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