just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize