I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
