He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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