He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize