I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize