I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
