I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
