i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize