You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
my poor anus
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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