I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
