i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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