no. you can't hotbox the world.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
