don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
