hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Ladies don't puke and tell
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
