no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
