im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
