It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
