I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
