wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
