That's intense
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
