P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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