is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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