He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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