i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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