small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize