So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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