i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wish life had little blips of pornography
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
