And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You know, be my cock's hype man.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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