So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
