Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
