I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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