it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
