If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
