I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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