I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
