we're blogging at a bar
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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