Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
