Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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