Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
