sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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