did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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