dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
