I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
