That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
