I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
