im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
