it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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