You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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