I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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