booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
