redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize