So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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