All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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