My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
