either way he was missing a nipple.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize