She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
