His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
