This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
