You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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