You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
