Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize