I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
